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The need to document this moment of my life
February 14, 2012
I have never expected today's valentines day to be so memorable. This is the first time I've spent it with the guy I like, with him not knowing that I like him. I think that's the best thing. To love someone without expecting the person to love you back and also without him knowing about it. Im glad I could cover up my emotions well.
So today voices had fundraising events. Me and jiaying managed to sell 15 bottles of stickies whee!
Oh but there's nothing memorable about just that right. Actually the story goes. My fundraising shift was from 11-2 and zhiwen's was from 12-2! So it's like when he came around 12, I didn't know what to do and kept fiddling with my stuff like totally at a loss. I felt do awkward. But then he started to strike a convo with me. Like he came and ask me whether it was me who brought the stocks. And then after I pointed to jiaying beside me and said it was her who brought the stocks one, I expected the convo to ended. But he continued talking to me and us and ask us how he can promote the stickies and stuff. I dono if he was just being friendly or what but im already happy that we managed to break the ice and talk more.
Then after that zhiwen started to promote the stickies and angel clement said he wanted to compete with zhiwen to see who will sell the most. And to think jiaying actually turned around bd ask me who I think would win. And I couldn't answer her. One was my angel who has been really nice to me and another is the guy I've liked since last sem. What an awkward moment.
Then me and jiaying decided to get more stickies to go to canteen to sell. And when we came back, zhiwen actually came and ask me how many I managed to sell! So 细心! I'm so touched by it. I wonder if he knows how much I appreciate for him to command strike convos w me.
And the thing is that zhiwen actually told everyone im cute. Second time alr. But openly saying I'm cute to everyone obviously means he doesn't like me in that way. Just as that cute junior whom he hopes to befriend I guess. He reason why he said I was cute was because he said a joke but I took it for real. Omgosh. Haha so embarrassing but I like how he tells everyone how cute I am and naive to believe what he says. Zhiwen, I really believe you ma!
Then we actually had lect at 2pm at science. And I never ever expected us to take bus and go back science tgt! Never once did I think ill take the same bus as him and even sit next to him and chat so much! The saddest part was parting w each other and saying bye. I bet he doesn't know I purposely alighted one stop after my stop so that I could spend more time with him. I'm really lovelorn or sth right!
Zhiwen, Actually I've long wanted to forget you le but I just dono why I can't. Or maybe cos I've always been seeing you in voices so it's harder to forget. Please stick close to me and don't let my heart waver kay. Cos I can already see it wavering cos of him. I don't like to see myself like this. So I gonna wait for you no matter what k. Let's give ourselves more time to know each other more k.
See you next mon ;P
Happy valentines day! I didn't get to tell you this today <3
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11:22 PM
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